The new me! YAY!

No Photo yet, but I am sure one will come as I slowly get a little bit more satisfied with how this whole weight loss thing is going. I am now at 50 pounds down! I have gone down 4 dress sizes and about 6 inches off my waist! I am so grateful to have been able to have the strength and will-power to allow me to stay strong and stick to my guns during the holiday season so far. I haven't done any baking yet, but I am sure I will be fine through that as well...

Losing this much weight, has made me feel better than I have in years!

The changes that have happened in my life the last few months have been immense. I have not only grown as a person emotionally (not letting anyone else control my life), but my physical will-power is back and I now am happy with the direction my life is going! I will no longer let life just run over me and take it's toll. I will enjoy this journey and I will be healthy doing it! And, if I can look a little better in the process, then all the better as well. I am hoping that my future remains as promising as it looks to be at this point. When one door closes, another one opens, and in my case... the sky is the limit!

Here is to a happy life... here is to love... and may both find me in the coming year!

Jr. Cheer 2010

Briahna, once again this year participated in the Monroe High School Cheerleader Jr. Cheer Program. The girls all are given a practice day where they learn 2 cheers and they get to perform them during the half-time of the Monroe Girls Basketball team. Bria always looks so cute out there cheering away and having fun! And of course afterwards the girls all get to have the "cool" high school cheerleaders sign their shirts! So cool!

My commitment to be honest with myself...

So... many of you already know that I am separated from Tony now (divorce papers are filled out and ready to be filed). I am yet again finding myself trying to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I realize now, after a long soul-searching past year, that I can no longer live for someone else! I need to live to make ME happy! I have spent the majority of my life trying so hard to please other people (and the men in my life) that I always lose sight of who I am. I turn into someone who is unhappy because I am a pleaser and want so desperately to be loved. I realize now that until I am happy for me, I will not be happy with anyone else, unless I am happy myself too!

The last couple months alone have been really comforting and awakening at the same time. I have had time to think about what I want in any possible future relationships as well as what I want to show my daughter is real and what is true. I want to be a good example for her, not an example of what not to do. I have always pretended to like things that I really didn't like for fear of rejection and I will no longer do that. It always caused issues later on when I just couldn't handle "that thing" anymore. I will no longer bottle every feeling inside and keep this wall up that I have built so incredible high for emotional protection! I need to break it down and start to be able to feel again. I will be honest and say how I feel and if I get rejected... so be it. I will be me. I can no longer live in fear! Okay self... here we go on this journey we call life! We cannot fail (can we ?)!

I am thinking I will keep this hair color for a while! I love it!

My beautiful Bria, after her hair cut...

She came home from her Dad's one weekend needing her hair trimmed because of a gum incident - oops! So, I asked her what she wanted and we ended up doing a whole new "do"... pretty cute, if I do say so myself!